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Five Frequently Asked Questions & Suggestions for Answering

The judgment that a person is a distortion probably based on years of working in the Damage Model, labeling and treating illness. Therefore responding requires that you tactfully shift the emphasis in this question from the youth who is being placed at fault to the thinking of the person who is asking the question. This is best accomplished by returning the question with other questions. For instance, how do you assess that a youth has no strengths? Have you investigated all areas of his/her life? Are you making that judgment based upon information that has been generated by assessments focused totally on problems and symptoms? Have you asked about areas of strength? Point out how Dr. Wolin pursued the possibility that there were "good" aspects of James' experience in gangs. Point out that in the course of that questioning, Dr. Wolin he did hit on one of James's strengths. Consider that when you take this approach to answering, do not have stand alone. Take advantage of the diverse opinions in the group by encouraging other participants to join the dialogue. Many will have integrated the Challenge Model into their thinking and will be able to describe strengths in youth that had been obscured by Damage Model assessments.

2. Can resiliencies like insight be taught or are you born with it?

Like the previous question, this one requires a shift in emphasis, this time from the origin of resilience to the usefulness of the concept of resilience in helping youth who are in trouble. The shift is best accomplished by first noting that there is no definitive evidence that resilience is either in-born or can be taught. You can then offer anecdotal information about youth who have learned one of the seven resiliencies. Point out what kind of external conditions, for instance strong communities or good schools, are necessary to foster resilience. You can also talk about how you have learned one of the resiliencies. Or you can ask the person who posed the question (as well as the whole group) to look inward. Ask them to reflect on their own experiences with hardship. Have they learned how to respond constructively over time? What would be the implications for them if they were told, "You have to be born with resilience; you can't learn it. Once you've fallen on your face, and your genetic material has shown itself, you're done!" This sort of reflection makes the point that the in-born formulation of resilience is a dead end. For people trying to help youth who are burdened by hardship, teaching resilience and providing the external supports necessary to learn resilience are the more practical and responsible approaches.

3. Do you have to be a psychiatrist to use the techniques of reframing and talking about strengths?

The answer to this question is, "No." But simply saying, No," will not quiet participant's skepticism and self-doubts about doing reframing, especially because the technique is demonstrated in James' Story by Dr. Wolin who is a psychiatrist. Therefore, your answer should convey encouragement. One approach is to return to the definition and theory of reframing. Point out that telling personal stories and listening to others' stories are universal activities, not the exclusive domain of psychiatrists. Many people intuitively know how to balance the negatives with positive. Others can learn. Explain how by reviewing the techniques of reframing. As in question 1, this question provides another opportunity to include the group in the dialogue and tap the range of experience among participants. Ask for examples of reframes that were done by teachers, friends, parents, or other people who are not psychiatrists. In most cases, the group will come through with impressive experiences.

4. How much therapy has James had?

James has had no previous therapy. Be aware, however, that this answer will satisfy some participants, but it is likely to leave many others unsatisfied because they've made assumptions that you've not addressed by simply stating the facts. Therefore, it is a good idea to follow your answer with another question, for instance, "I'm curious why you're asking," or "Did you think he had been in therapy? Why?" Commonly, you will hear that James had made such a positive impression, that the person asking the question assumed that he must have been in therapy before. Or that he seems so comfortable with Dr. Wolin, that their relationship must be longstanding. Use the opportunity of these assumptions to underscore the power of talking about strengths. Ask participants to reflect on the differences in how they might respond if someone approached them with questions about their problems in contrast to asking more neutral questions or posing inquiries about things they've done right in their lives. Underscore that teens, especially, might be a lot more receptive to talking to adults and get a lot more out of their conversations with adults, if they are treated respectfully and believed to have strengths.

5. Is the ability of a youth to enter into this kind of conversation related to intelligence? James seems to be particularly verbal.

If James' ability to enter into this conversation is related to his intelligence, it is only to a small extent. Much more important and relevant is his level of comfort. Being anxious or being put on the defensive can reduce most people to sputtering, one word answers, or angry remarks. Use the information on page 33 of this manual on the language structure of the conversation, to point out how Dr. Wolin helped James to feel relaxed and to connect. Note also that Dr. Wolin is asking James about his strong points. Ask: what changes do you think you'd see in James if Dr. Wolin were passing judgments on James. If he smiled less? If he were interested in James problems, not his strengths? If he were acting like an authority on James' life rather than being curious. You might also ask participants to discover themselves the relationship between verbal expression and comfort. Ask them to reflect on the fluctuations in their verbal skills in different situations.

Additional Resources

Desetta, A. & Wolin, S. The Struggle to be Strong: True Stories by Teens About Overcoming Tough Times (Free Spirit Publishing, 2000).

Wolin, S., Desetta, A., & Hefner, K. A Leader's Guide to The Struggle to be Strong: How to Foster Resilience in Teens (Free Spirit Publishing, 2000).

Wolin, S., & Wolin, S.J. The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity (New York: Villard Books, 1993).

Survivor's Pride Video (Attainment Company, 1994).

Introduction | Background | James | Video Transcript | Presenting the Video Step by Step | FAQs