Introduction | Background | James | Video Transcript | Presenting the Video Step by Step | FAQs

Background

Steven Wolin, M.D. & Sybil Wolin Ph.D.

Steven Wolin M.D. is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University Medical School in Washington DC, director of family therapy training, and long time investigator at the Center for Family Research. His research is published in over 40 papers, and he is co-author of The Alcoholic Family (Basic Books, 1988).

Sybil Wolin Ph.D. is a developmental psychologist. She has worked as an advocate for public school services for handicapped children, an educational diagnostician and tutor, and a classroom teacher. She holds certification in English, reading, and special education. She is co-editor of The Struggle to be Strong: True Stories by Teens About Overcoming Tough Times and A Leader's Guide to The Struggle to be Strong: How to Foster Resilience in Teens (Free Spirit, 2000)..

The Wolins are co-directors of Project Resilience, a private organization in Washington DC, that offers training and products for professionals working in education, treatment, and prevention. Project Resilience promotes a strengths-based approach to working with youth struggling to overcome hardship, for instance family disruption, violence, substance abuse, poverty, and racism. Since 1988, when Project Resilience was founded, the Wolins have conducted over 250 workshops in the USA, Canada, and abroad.

Talking About Strengths

Talking about strengths is an approach to helping youth who are struggling with hardship. It is a method of focusing on the strengths of youth that otherwise might be obscured by their damage and pain. The goal of talking about strengths is to make youth aware of their own assets and to give them the hope and courage they need to prevail over the difficult circumstances of their lives.

The method of talking about strengths grew out of research done by Project Resilience with 25 men and women. All were children of a seriously troubled families. All had improved significantly on life-style they had known at home. They were all asked the same question: "How did you do it?"

In responding, most resisted the positive approach at first and gravitated to their pain and their problems. Encouraged to shift their focus, however, they all eventually described what they had done as children and adolescents and what they were still doing as adults to help themselves. As they talked about how they endured - how they were adopted by a friend's family, succeeded at a job, cultivated a talent or skill, or made links to the community by joining a youth organization - they lit up with pride. They began to see themselves not as damaged victims but as people who had scars but were also brave, resourceful, and determined.

The change, which was powerful to watch, led to the observation that talking about strengths had a broader application than research alone. It could also help people struggling with hardship to see their resilience as well as their pain.

The idea of applying talking about strengths to work with youth, rather than limiting the technique to research on adults who were reflecting on the past, was Tom Kinney's and Attainment Company's. A passionate youth advocate who believes that youth in trouble are more than the sum of their problems, Tom approached the staff of a local high school and several teen programs and asked for help. "I want to talk to some teens who are in trouble but who also have strengths," he explained.

They knew what he was talking about. "Well, that's all of our kids," they replied.

James was one of the many who fit the description. The conversation with him on the video uses the same method of talking about strengths that Project Resilience used with adults. The video is a tool both to demonstrate the power of talking about strengths as well as the techniques and mindset involved.

Reframing

Reframing, which is viewing an old story from a new perspective, is the key to talking about strengths with youth struggling with troubles. Reframing shifts the emphasis from their troubles to their efforts to help themselves.

To understand reframing, think of the literal meaning of the word "frame." Picture a large, busy photograph of an event that captures a lot of action and many different people. Now think of framing the photo so that one piece of the action that is most meaningful to you is prominent. Be aware of what you have cut out and what you have included within the frame. Note that by framing the picture, you have changed it. Consider that every placement of the frame creates a different impression, and there are as many impressions in the photograph as there are ways to frame it. Consider to that at a later date, you might look at the photo again and decide that the part that was previously most significant to you has lost some of its meaning. Now a detail that you not focused on before takes on greater meaning, so you move the frame slightly to include it.

So too with life stories. The stories people tell about themselves are not composed of fixed events. The way people remember their experiences and talk about them are in constant flux. Each telling frames only part of the action, some of the characters, and only a glimpse of the many complex feelings and nuances involved. What you choose to include, to omit, and to make central can change your story from telling to telling.

Life stories are important because they can determine how you feel about yourself and, in turn, how you act. The stories that some people frame about themselves are constructive and lead to positive action, for instance, "I am shrewd. I've always have the ability to watch out for myself. As a child, I used those skills to escape the worst of my father's abuse. Today the same skills are my strongest suit."

Other stories are destructive. They cause considerable pain and get in the way of a productive life, for instance, "I was helpless as a child. I was a victim of my father's abuse. He damaged me irreparably. Now I can't do anything right or ever trust anyone again."

In James Story, James reframes his story of hurt and abandonment to include his insight. Seeing and naming this strength for the first time, James arrives at a new and constructive view of himself which includes his ability to steer clear of trouble. The point of reframing for James, and other like him, is to be liberated from a destructive story and to tell a new and better story - one that gives meaning to the past, a reason to persist in the present, and hope for the future.

The Damage Model

The Damage Model, is one way of understanding how hardship affects the growth and development of children. An awareness of the Damage Model, which is mentioned in the opening segment of James' Story, is the jumping off point for understanding the reasoning behind talking about strengths.

In the Damage Model (diagram attached at the end of this manual) hardship is seen as harmful and children are passive victims who are hurt by its effects. The best children can do is cope or contain the difficult influences surrounding them at considerable cost to themselves. Inevitably, the Damage Model predicts, the accumulating price of coping takes its toll and results in symptoms and behavior problems that make up the general category of pathologies. In adolescence and adulthood, pathologies are layered on pathologies which are then passed, in one form or another, from one generation to the next.

The Damage Model is widely accepted in the helping professions and has dominated both research and interventions for children for many years. From its perspective, James and others like him are youth "at risk." The odds for their future are not good. Perhaps it's even too late to intervene. Finding positive ways to work with youth like James requires a new way of understanding their experiences. Enter the Challenge Model.

The Challenge Model

The Challenge Model (diagram attached at the end of this manual) was developed by Project Resilience. The Challenge Model includes resilience in the analysis of how hardship affects children. It is the theory behind talking about strengths.

In contrast to the singular focus on problems in the Damage Model, the Challenge Model pictures two forces are at work as children interact with the troubles in their lives. The interplay is represented on the diagram by interweaving arrows. As in the Damage Model, troubles are seen as a danger to children, but they are also an opportunity. Children are vulnerable to the harmful influence of hardship, but they are also challenged to rebound from harm by experimenting, branching out, and developing their own resources. Over time, these self?protective behaviors develop into lasting clusters of strength called resiliencies.

The method of talking about strengths aims to help youth understand the core principle of the Challenge Model - that although they are struggling and probably have considerable troubles, they also have strengths. The message is meant to shift their self image in a positive direction and to instill hope by conveying that they can make a difference in their own lives.

Survivor's Pride

Survivor's pride is the well?deserved feeling of accomplishment that results from persisting in the face of hardship or adversity. It is a bittersweet mixture of pain and triumph that is usually under the surface but is sometimes readily visible in many youth and adults who have gone through difficult circumstances. It develops over time in the course of a struggle that typically goes unnoticed in professional and lay circles who accept the Damage Model and are, therefore, more likely to document problems and deficits in youth than strengths. Survivor's pride is not a rare feeling; nor is it limited to those with dazzling success. Survivor's pride can be found in many young people, like James, who have ongoing struggles and whose claim to a satisfying life is far from secure.

Talking about strengths aims to bring survivor's pride to the surface. As James' Story progresses, his growing sense of pride is obvious in his manner and on his face. James responds as he does because the process of talking about strengths conveys respect and honors his struggle to help himself. As James demonstrates, talking about strengths can shift the self?image of a youth from "damaged goods" to "one who prevails." That image, in turn, can become the basis of constructive behavior.

The Seven Resiliencies

Resiliencies are the strengths that are developed in the struggle with hardship. The seven resiliencies are a vocabulary of strengths that was developed from the research done by Project Resilience. The seven resiliencies are the framework for talking about strengths. They are:

Insight - asking tough questions and giving honest answers.

Independence - distancing emotionally and physically from the sources of trouble in one's life.

Relationships - making fulfilling connections to other people.

Initiative - taking charge of problems.

Creativity - using imagination and expressing oneself in art forms.

Humor - finding the comic in the tragic.

Morality - acting on the basis of conscience rather than self-interest or practical considerations.

The seven resiliencies are tools to be used by teachers, clinicians, and prevention workers. They serve as a guide, or a kind of mental map to help you know where to look for strengths so that you can talk about them. James' Story focuses on the resilience of insight.

Insight, as noted, above is asking tough questions and giving honest answers. People with insight see themselves and their circumstances clearly and realistically. They don't avoid difficult or painful truths. They take responsibility for themselves rather than blaming others for their troubles. Insight is a resilience because it helps people see things as they really are, not as they wish they would be. It is also a springboard to constructive action.

The development of insight begins with sensing or an intuition that something or someone is untrustworthy. Alert to danger, children with insight soon see the meaning of telltale changes in a parent's walk, dress, breath, or tone of voice. With the intellectual growth of adolescence, sensing deepens into knowing the full extent of your troubles. In adulthood, knowing ripens into a penetrating understanding of yourself and others. James' Story illustrates all three stages of insight: sensing, knowing, and understanding.

For information on the other resiliencies, see the resources listed at the back of this book.

Introduction | Background | James | Video Transcript | Presenting the Video Step by Step | FAQs